Crossroads

This internet deprivation is starting to bother me a little. Just a tad. But the very long break from blogging is also making me question a few things.

First of all, I'm obviously not a writer. It's never really truly ever been a goal I've strived towards. Writing often seems like simply a task, or a job I have to complete because of school or other forms of work. Amazingly, I've managed to actually occasionally blab for long enough to seem like I'm actually writing.

Second, I go to an insanely demanding school. Sure, being in Paris this quarter is a nice reprieve from the usual workload, but I have midterms for 7 out of the 10 weeks of school, plus a finals week right after. Hurray quarter system- be forewarned, those applying or planning on attending schools on the quarter system. Blogging, while a great pasttime, often takes a back seat to that and it makes me feel incredibly guilty. Especially when I can't reach out to other bloggers the way I want to. My school work has zero relevance to clothes or food or travel. In fact, I'm an economics major.

Third, I don't know what I'm doing. I love fashion, and I love clothes, but it's not like I will own any pieces of designer clothing, or for that matter, anything that generally costs more than 50 dollars or falls outside the realm of a "college student outfit". I attend a college that for the 9-10 months I'm in school, I'm forced to be bundled in the warmest and ugliest down jacket I own for 6-7 of those months. Hurray! I personally like my style, but it's not inspirational in any way. It's your average, slightly fashion conscious person outfit, and it tends to repeat itself. Why would I torture any of you with that??? Plus, kids at my school tend to dress in the slobbiest jeans and t-shirts they seem to be able to find, and well, after 3 hours of sleep, I'm inclined to do the same. Plus, I currently do not own a fabulous camera, or have a fabulous boyfriend to take photos for me.

In general, this whole, I go to college while trying to blog about food, clothes, or travel from one of the coldest places in America while trying to attain a 3.8 gpa at one of the top 10 universities and being good at it? Well. It sucks. I hate stretching for material, and I hate making people read pointless crap.

So after all this convoluted crap, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry to keep saying I'll come back soon, because I really don't know when I can (January, if blogger continues to refuse uploading photos due to the slow internet collection), or what I will do when I come back. What I do know is a few things:
1. I can't blog anywhere close to full time while I'm still in Paris because the internet refuses to cooperate and cannot blog at ALL while I'm in China because the lovely Chinese government dislikes foreign blogs and free speech on them?
2. There's no way I can blog every single day anymore, because my work load is too huge and replying comments and blogging in the same day is far too difficult with midterms and finals every week.
3. I have no idea what I'll be blogging about when I get back to full time blogging.

So I have a few questions that I'd really love answered haha. For those who occasionally drop by, or who used to read my posts more regularly, was there anything you liked? Anything that would be great for me to continue, anything I should stop doing? I really would love some feedback because I need inspiration and to make some decisions. I love blogging too much to give it up entirely, but I'm simply tired of this everlasting battle with the internet and lack of sleep. I'm sorry I'm whining so much, but I'm stuck!